Question

Hilfe!Написать на английском языке про смешную историю.

Answer 1

Walked last night to one of the local supermarkets. In front of me is a married couple with a child. A man all of himself ambal, in short, a really brutal type.
  They, just like me, are walking along the shopping hall slowly, and their boy is running with curiosity and interest from the counter to the counter. Suddenly he stops at the stand with DVDs and literally on the whole department as he screams:
  - ABOUT! Smurfs!
  Then even louder:
  - ABOUT! Fixiks!
  Passing by his father immediately slips him on the back of his head and, without stopping, explains:
  "Throw this shit out of your head!" You're a man!
  - Seryozha! - his wife is indignant.
  - Well, what of the fact that I'm Serge? - still the same calm and unperturbed tone continues father. "I also love Smurfs, but I do not twist about this for the whole store!"
  And, after a pause, he added:
  - A real man should be able to hide his emotions!


ПЕРЕВОД

Прогуливался вчера вечером по одному из местных супермаркетов. Передо мной идёт семейная пара с ребёнком. Мужик весь из себя амбал, короче, реально брутальный тип.

Они так же, как и я, идут по торговому залу не спеша, а их пацан с любопытством и интересом бегает от прилавка к прилавку. Вдруг он останавливается у стенда с DVD-дисками и буквально на весь отдел как завизжит:

- О! Смурфики!

После чего ещё громче:

- О! Фиксики!

Проходящий мимо него отец немедленно отвешивает ему подзатыльник и, не останавливаясь, поясняет:

- Выбрось эту дурь из головы! Ты же мужик!

- Серёжа! - возмущается его супруга.

- Ну, что из того, что я Серёжа? - всё тем же спокойным и невозмутимым тоном продолжает папаша. - Я тоже люблю Смурфиков, но я же не верещу об этом на весь магазин!

И, сделав паузу, добавил:

- Настоящий мужик должен уметь скрывать свои эмоции!

Answer 2

Sure! Here's a funny story for you:

Once upon a time, in a small town called Funnyville, there lived a man named Bob who had a knack for getting into hilarious situations. One sunny day, Bob decided to go grocery shopping, unaware of the comical adventure that awaited him.

As Bob entered the supermarket, he noticed a sign that read, "Beware of slippery floors!" Being the carefree person he was, Bob paid no attention to it and continued strolling through the aisles. Little did he know, a mischievous employee had just polished the floors to a mirror-like shine.

As Bob turned into the cereal aisle, his feet suddenly flew out from under him, and he found himself gliding down the aisle like a figure skater. Panicked, he flailed his arms around and yelled, "Whoa! I'm the world's clumsiest ice dancer!"

Customers and employees couldn't help but burst into laughter at Bob's unexpected performance. Even the store manager couldn't contain his amusement and applauded Bob's unintentional grace.

With an embarrassed grin, Bob managed to regain his footing and continued shopping, vowing to be more cautious. However, the universe seemed determined to keep the laughs coming.

In the produce section, Bob reached for a ripe banana but accidentally knocked over a tower of watermelons. The watermelons tumbled down, creating a domino effect and causing a scene that resembled a cartoonish avalanche. Bob stood frozen, surrounded by rolling watermelons, as everyone around him burst into fits of laughter once again.

Determined not to let the supermarket defeat him, Bob picked up the fallen watermelons one by one, juggling them and pretending to be a circus performer. He turned his mishap into an impromptu comedy act, and soon the whole store was in stitches.

As Bob finally made his way to the checkout counter, the cashier couldn't help but chuckle and said, "You've certainly made this the most entertaining shopping trip ever!"

Bob grinned sheepishly and replied, "Well, I always try to bring a little laughter wherever I go!"

And from that day forward, Bob became a legend in Funnyville, known for his ability to turn even the most embarrassing situations into uproarious comedy. His adventures in the supermarket would be retold for years, bringing joy and laughter to everyone who heard them.

So remember, even when life trips you up, embrace the humor, and you might just become the star of your own funny story!