Question

НАЙТИ ЗДЕСЬ 6 оШИБОК!!!! Отдам 50 баллов!!!!! Dear Sir/Madam, I just arrived at the station on the 3:40 train from Highvale and was making my way to the exit when a station employee approached me. To my astonishment, he accused me of having sprayed graffiti on a train there the week before. When I attempted to reason with him, he forcibly led me to an office and went through. my private belongings. I could not have vandalised the train as I was away on holiday with my family at the time and told him so. He was about to call the police when I insisted he speak with my parents to establish my innocence. Having done so, he should apologise, but didn't. The incident was particularly upsetting because I was treated like a common criminal, in full view of other passengers. Furthermore, I am shocked that a station employee allows to treat a member of the public in this way. It was so humiliating experience that I decided to contact you to complain. I demand that you investigate the matter and take appropriate measures to prevent such an incident from ever happening again. I look forward to your response. Yours faithfully. Angela Mellors

Answer 1

Just & was - не можуть стояти в одному реченні.

When I attempted to reason with him, he forcibly led me to an office and went through. - attempted - теперішній час, went - минулий

My private thoughts - чесно, незнаю чому, але впевнена на 100% що це неправильно

I could not have vandalised the train as I was away on holiday with my family at the
time and told him so - could & was - два різний часи

Having done so, he should apologise, but didn't. - having & should різні часи

I look forward to your response. - look має бути looked

Answer 2

Письмо выглядит в целом хорошо, но есть несколько ошибок и улучшений, которые могли бы быть внесены. Вот шесть потенциальных ошибок и улучшений:

1. Первая ошибка: В начале письма вы использовали "+", чтобы указать на ошибку, но это не является общепринятой практикой. Вместо этого просто перечислите ошибки и улучшения, как я сделал выше.

2. Ваше обращение "Dear Sir/Madam" в целом корректно, но если у вас есть возможность узнать имя конкретного человека или должность, которая будет обрабатывать ваше письмо, лучше использовать конкретное имя или должность. Например, "Dear [Имя или Должность],".

3. В следующем предложении, где вы говорите о времени прибытия на станцию, правильно будет использовать "the 3:40 train from Highvale," вместо "the 3:40 train from Highvale."

4. В предложении "and went through. my private belongings," следует поставить пробел после "through" и использовать большую букву "M" в "my." Таким образом, предложение будет выглядеть так: "and went through my private belongings."

5. В предложении "Having done so, he should apologize, but didn't," лучше разделить это на два предложения для большей ясности: "Having done so, he should apologize. But he didn't."

6. В предложении "Furthermore, I am shocked that a station employee allows to treat a member of the public in this way," слово "allows" не согласуется с контекстом. Лучше использовать "is allowed" или "is permitted." Таким образом, предложение будет выглядеть так: "Furthermore, I am shocked that a station employee is allowed to treat a member of the public in this way."

Поправив указанные ошибки и улучшив некоторые моменты, ваше письмо будет выглядеть следующим образом:

Dear [Имя или Должность],

I just arrived at the station on the 3:40 train from Highvale and was making my way to the exit when a station employee approached me. To my astonishment, he accused me of having sprayed graffiti on a train there the week before. When I attempted to reason with him, he forcibly led me to an office and went through my private belongings. I could not have vandalized the train as I was away on holiday with my family at the time and told him so. He was about to call the police when I insisted he speak with my parents to establish my innocence. Having done so, he should apologize. But he didn't.

The incident was particularly upsetting because I was treated like a common criminal, in full view of other passengers. Furthermore, I am shocked that a station employee is allowed to treat a member of the public in this way. It was so humiliating experience that I decided to contact you to complain. I demand that you investigate the matter and take appropriate measures to prevent such an incident from ever happening again. I look forward to your response.

Yours faithfully,
Angela Mellors

Теперь письмо выглядит более точным и четким.